[17 Dec 2005|07:30pm] so like ive never in my life felt like this and i think i like it...:] i leave for texas...tomorrow. 2 sang softly. ! hot damn

[15 Dec 2005|09:09pm] so a summary of the last like week or two goes a little something like this. i have started hanging out with the three most amazing people ever. i bought a huge ass spider for a really good friend and almost died b/c of it. bought a ticket to texas. went to a dodgeball game haha. started going to a church for the first time in a long long time. and won a weight lifting meet for the 2nd time. pretty good times.... 2 sang softly. ! hot damn

[06 Dec 2005|09:52pm] "i would dearly like to sever the stars from the sky and place them in your hands." hot damn

[04 Dec 2005|09:11pm] if its not one thing its a fucking nother. im sick of it all. sick of lies. sick of smart ass remarks. sick of caring when no one else does and it turns out to be shit anyways. i hate people, i really do. 8 sang softly. ! hot damn

[24 Nov 2005|11:32pm] [ mood | content ] so um today i was voted "best person to hug" dont think ive ever felt that content... :) 2 sang softly. ! hot damn

[23 Nov 2005|11:39pm] thanksgiving eve it tis. had myself a fun day. all i can say is... 1 harry potter kicks ass 2 ms. deanna leonora never fails to entertain me, whatever the situation may be. 3 and lastly for the first time in my life, ive been to nacasooooooma, fl at 11:00 at night. whatever the fuck its name is. my stomach hurts from laughing so much. goddamn gotta love the greenway. hot damn

[07 Nov 2005|08:22pm] [ mood | irritated ] last night was an all nighter...had my damn nervous feeling again. i think its a sign that my body is quitting on me. that cant be good. ive always wondered what it would be like if i just "disappeared" or what not. hah. the people who always ask me for paper and pens in class would deffinately be the ones who miss me the most if not the only. when i do "disappear" no matter what happens, i wish to be buried with my oatmeal and a package of that zebra gum with the tattoo wrappers. whatever. well today i was excited to get my class ring, just so i could compare it to my mothers. i PLANNED on getting weightlifting on one side and drumline on the other. the number for drumline was 597...the 7 looked like a 4. so instead of weightlifting and drumline on my beautiful little ring i have ballet slippers and weightlifting....im a fucking weightlifter ballerina. agh ive started to think...and i hate when i do this. i block everything and everyone out of my world for a while and just think. its horrible. im pretty sure the whole "sad loosing everyone who actually means something to me in band thing" started it all. i really hate when i start to miss people before they have even left. makes it worse...i want to tell people how much they mean to me or how i feel about them, but the act of being open isnt my thing. im started to get my nervous feeling back, its in my chest and i just feel like screaming. its weird how i write all this on this damn journal but when im seen in public i look/act perfectly "normal" atleast with my life. im the fakest person i know and no one knows it but me. im surprised how much ive wrote...i need to write in my private journal or play guitar or....run. this feeling is eating away at my insides and all i can do about it is write a few pages in a little black book or come up with a new song. pretty sad if you ask me... 1 sang softly. ! hot damn

[06 Nov 2005|01:32am] [ mood | ecstatic ] fba...straight fucking superiors. amazing. had the senior speech shit on the bus and in the band room. i did shed a tear. i will miss this years seniors but for the most part ill really miss a few certain ones. im not too good at telling people how i feel or saying good bye so the end of this year shall be a challege for myself...agh whatever...today was great tonight was great. i really couldnt have asked for a better day. today totally deserves a full page in my diary. 10 sang softly. ! hot damn

[31 Oct 2005|10:01pm] brynnidy and i took alex and daveigh trick or treating. walking around our neighborhood with darth vader and an angel was priceless. quit a nice time. we took them to stoney brook hah those rich freaks give out the good candy :) time to relax with brynn to some wonderful alfred hitchcock movies... hope everyone had a good halloween hot damn

[30 Oct 2005|09:44pm] [ mood | stressed ] why do i do it? i over load myself with everything to finally make myself useful and then i have a nervous break down and sleep 30 minutes a night to unload everything. hot damn

[29 Oct 2005|05:47pm] so this morning i decided to take my brother around the neighborhood to ride his skateboard...and this man in his yellow sweater and his big ass water bottle, decicdes he wants to piss me off and show his stupidity by asking if the child was my son...i simply replied "excuse me sir, no offense but, im 16 and the child is 7, of course hes my son." bet next time he sees me at the park he'll walk the other way. 2 sang softly. ! hot damn

[18 Oct 2005|03:38am] happy birthday mother... 2 sang softly. ! hot damn

[17 Oct 2005|09:36pm] Death may be the greatest of all human blessings. Socrates how did this come about... hot damn

[09 Oct 2005|12:06am] The wind rises electric She's soft and warm and almost weightless Her perfume is sweet promise that brings tears to my eyes I tell her that everything will be alright That I'll save her from whatever she's scared of and take her far far away I tell her... I love her The silencer makes a whisper of the gunshot I hold her close until she's gone I'll never know what she's running from I'll cash her check in the morning... 3 sang softly. ! hot damn

[06 Oct 2005|09:24pm] ive watched willy wonka 4 times ive been inside this house forever it seems. on the brightside, the old school degrassi episodes are on and im loving it. had a pizza/willy wonka and the chocolate factory date with a 7 year old earlier. hah i love it... hot damn

[05 Oct 2005|10:30pm] disney with rosie and jessica...fun stuff i have to admitt! Jessica drops me off, i open my door and along with me is my dear friend george. Yeah george is a frog and it took me 45 minutes to get his ass out of my house... 2 sang softly. ! hot damn

[04 Oct 2005|04:07pm] uuugh no why am i do writing in this again.... 2 sang softly. ! hot damn

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